7 Practical Ways to Become a Happier Mother

Please share with your friends!

Last Updated on July 4, 2023 by alli

Every mum wants to be happy, but sometimes it feels like there’s no time for it!

A few years ago I went through a rough patch. I felt overwhelmed by the monotonous “daily juggle” of parenting, working and running a household. It all became too much for me.

It didn’t occur to me then, though, that my daughter would notice my unhappiness. I thought she was too little to identify it and that it was of no consequence to her. But I was wrong.

The impact it was having on her became clear to me when on one family holiday, she drew the below picture and placed it under my pillow one night. Needless to say, it broke my heart.

This was her way of privately reaching out to let me know that she could see my unhappiness and that it was upsetting her. I have kept this picture as a reminder to be happy.

The game changer for me, in finding my happiness, was to make time for myself and introduce self-care.

But there are also other ways that I believe a mum can find her happiness.  

Here are 7 Practical Ways to Become a Happier Mother

1. Don’t forget YOU!

Before you became a mother, you were a woman that had goals, aspirations, dreams, desires, hobbies and interests.

Now that you’re a mum, wife, partner and the backbone of your family, it’s quite likely that a big piece of YOU has disappeared or (more precisely) is buried inside you.

Now you spend your days rushing around (doing the juggle) and trying to manage everyone.

Find some of the old you and bring her back!  

What I mean by that is, do something in your day (or during the week), that you enjoy, that’s just for you.

It doesn’t have to be big. It can be something like getting a facial, enrolling in a small online course, a bit of retail therapy, or anything that the OLD YOU use to enjoy doing.

My free ‘Self-Care Planner Pack’ can help you find the old you. Download the pack today and get started!

2. Don’t Compare

Don’t compare yourself or your parenting to other mums.

Be conscious when you are doing it and stop yourself because nothing good will come of it!

I love this quote that I saw a while ago and it really strikes a chord with me.

In simple terms, it means don’t let appearances fool you and cause you unhappiness.

The problem with comparing is that more often than not, you are believing your perception of others and this perception is usually that others are winning and you’re not.

You think you are seeing mums that are more organised than you, happier than you, and parenting better than you.

You also begin to see others as the standard that you should be aiming for because you feel you are falling short and they are achieving.

This leads to lower self-esteem, lack of confidence, anxiety, guilt, and even depression. Don’t fall into the trap of doing this to yourself. It’s pointless.

Out of curiosity, I asked my daughter (who was 9 at the time) what she thinks it means when someone compares themselves to others. Her response was,

“It means they are not happy with themselves, so they keep looking at other people and keep seeing only the good things other people are doing. People that compare are people that don’t really believe in themselves”.

That pretty much sums it up!

My personal experience with comparing.

When my daughter started school and I became a first-time school mum, I fell into the trap of comparing myself to other school mums. My partner helped me identify that my lack of confidence was coming from the fact that I was comparing too much.

Whenever I’d tell him about something that others were doing, he’d say, “I don’t care about what others are doing, I just care about us and what we are doing”.

I knew he was right, I had to stop seeing others as my benchmark.

How to stop comparing

If you’re a comparer and it affects you negatively, identify what triggers you, and avoid it.

For example, if you know that social media leaves you feeling flat and is a trigger, just don’t go there. Don’t spend time scrolling through your feed and looking at posts of (what appear to be) super happy, active and perfect-looking people.

Remember that the photos you are seeing are just a moment in time and they are presented to project that everything is perfect. Don’t let something that is curated make you feel inferior.

3. Be Organised

Being organised comes naturally to some people, while others struggle with it.

When you are DIS-organised, you are more likely to feel –

• Overwhelmed
• Out of control
• Stressed
• Anxious
• Defeated

None of the above equals happiness.

On the other hand, being organised means you are in control of your day and environment. When you are in control, you feel more confident, positive and powerful.

If you are someone that needs help with organisation, there are so many articles, posts, books and experts available to you.

I recommend a good place to start is by writing out a weekly plan or list and making sure you refer to it.

Free Weekly Planners

If you’d like to give a weekly planner a go, you can download my free planners and get started today!

You have probably heard the fantastic quote by Benjamin Franklin – “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”

This is so true! So, get a pen and paper out, write those tasks down and plan to succeed!

4. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

To help my daughter control and regulate her emotions when she started school, I would talk to her about two different types of problems. Ant (small) problems and elephant (big) problems.

If you allow them to, ‘ant’ problems can ruin your whole day. I have to admit, I still have my days too, where silly mishaps get the better of me. I’m still working on this, believe me!

So next time something small and irritating happens, just say to yourself, “It’s just a bloody ant problem!”

5. Talk to a Supportive Mum Friend

Talk to a friend who is honest about the stresses of being a mum. The kind of friend who will admit that they were too tired to cook dinner the other night, so the kids ate beans on toast. Or, they admit to feeling overwhelmed by their busy schedule and are honest about a challenge or difficulty one of their kids is having at school.

A friend who is not busy portraying ‘the perfect life’ is worth their weight in gold. So spend your time with people who are uplifting and supportive.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

As you get to know me better, you will see that I love words.

Due to my love of words, I love to read, I love to write, I love quotes, I love lists and I love handwritten notes.

Words are powerful and they can make or break your day.

Someone can say something to you that you may remember for the rest of that day, or even for the rest of your life. Whatever they have said will impact you either positively or negatively.

I know most of my readers are probably nice, kind-hearted, caring and loving people to others. But are you nice, kind, caring and loving to yourself?

If you remember anything from this post, let it be this quote by the fabulous Mel Robbins – “There will always be someone who can’t see your worth … Don’t let it be YOU”.

7. Live For Now

Another big destroyer of happiness is the habit of living in the past or continuously wishing and waiting for things in the future.

Many of us spend all our time waiting for something to arrive, like a pay raise, family holiday, new car, renovation or simply just the future! That’s because we believe that when it finally arrives, everything will be better, and that’s when we’ll be truly happy.

I am not saying to not work hard towards your goals, by all means, do. Dream big. Just don’t spend all your time waiting and wishing for things because you believe they are the answer to happiness. Don’t get caught up in ‘Destination Addiction’.

While we’re waiting and wishing for the future to bring us happiness, we are probably missing out on the immediate happiness we could be having right now in this very moment doing things with our loved ones. 

I can’t end this post without yet another one of my favourite quotes 🙂

The Takeaway

My takeaway message is that we all deserve to be happy. There is nothing better for a family (or a little girl) than when her mummy is happy.

What I would like you to do is ask your husband, partner or children, what they feel your strengths are and what you do well for them… They will tell you.

Hear them and feel proud about it.

You can also write down a list of everything you know you do well because I bet there is a lot. Refer back to that list whenever you need to be reminded.

For example, my list would read like this –

I’m organised, a pretty decent cook, a reliable employee, I keep on top of what’s happening at school, and I run the household so well that without me they would struggle – okay, now I’m just boasting! haha

I’d love you to share in the comments below, what your hubby, partner or kids said you do well for them!