What parents need to know about Sleepovers

Please share with your friends!

Last Updated on July 4, 2023 by alli

My daughter recently had her first sleepover. As you can imagine, leading up to it, she was super excited. So excited that she had her bag packed days earlier. I can’t say I shared her enthusiasm; in fact, I was nervous about it. Nervous enough to do some research into what parents need to know about sleepovers.

Deciding on when to allow sleepovers

Every parent is different. I know parents who don’t allow their kids to have sleepovers at all. Others are fine about it, and their kids have been sleeping over at friends’ houses from a young age.

My daughter started receiving sleepover invites around the age of 7. We have said no to every sleepover invite until now. She is currently 11 years old.

There are a lot of factors to consider when deciding on whether to allow a child to attend a sleepover. Some of these are the child’s age, level of maturity and independence, how well you know the supervising parent, who else will be sleeping over on the night, and how safe you feel your child will be.

Once you decide to allow your child to start attending sleepovers here are some important things you need to know about.   

4 Important things to know about sleepovers

1. Expect electronic devices to be used

Attending a modern-day sleepover generally means you can expect various electronic devices to be used by the kids on the night.

It’s common for kids to bring along their iPad or iPhone (depending on their age) and use it throughout the night. The first thing my daughter asked me after she was told she could attend her first sleepover was if she could bring her iPad with her!

It’s important to keep in mind that the duration your child is on her device during the sleepover and what she does with the device will be out of your control that night.

When kids are with their peers and they’re having a great time, rules are the last thing on their minds. Having free reign of their devices throughout the night means they will be free to text other kids (that haven’t been invited to the sleepover), look at sites you normally wouldn’t approve of, and take pictures of each other and then share them on social media platforms… and the list goes on.   

What can you do to avoid issues around devices?

If you are the hosting parent you can –

a) Let the kids have fun and allow access to devices for a certain period of time. After that, ask that the devices be put away and no longer used. Or, you can –   
b) On the invitation, let everyone know it’s a device-free sleepover. You can say there will be lots of games and fun, but no devices. Note: Always make sure the kids know they will have access to a phone if they need to call their parents.

If you are the parent of a child that’s invited to a sleepover you can-

a) Ask the hosting parent what their sleepover rules are so that you are clear. If your child wants to bring her device, check that this is ok with the hosting parent. Or-
b) If the sleepover is a device-free one, make sure you have the phone number of the hosting parent so that you can call them if you need to.

2. It’s called a “Sleep-over” but not much sleeping will be done!

When you pick your child up after a sleepover, expect her to have not had much sleep which means you will probably have a very tired and sensitive child on your hands for the rest of the day. Planning an action-packed, busy day straight after a sleepover is not advisable.

3. The rules you normally live by at home will be broken

A sleepover is only for one night, but during that night, the rules and routines you normally live by at home will probably be broken. This may include things like– no brushing of teeth in the evening or morning, eating lots of treats, unsupervised access to electronic devices, no set bedtime, and no sleep.

You can also expect the unexpected. For example, my daughter packed a pair of black leggings and a T-shirt to change into the next morning, and she came home wearing an outfit that didn’t belong to her.

4. You can’t guarantee the safety of your child

You can’t control who will be present at the host’s home during the evening of the sleepover. In some cases, the child that’s having the sleepover may have older siblings and their friends may also be hanging out at the house too. If you are uncomfortable with some of the people that will be there, the best thing to do is to not allow your child to attend.

8 Things to confirm before a sleepover

Here are some important things to confirm after your child receives an invitation.

1. The phone number of the supervising parent.
   
2. What time the sleepover starts and finishes?
   
3. What items your child needs to bring with her? E.g. sleeping bag, pillow, toothbrush, change of clothes
   
4. If your child has food allergies, what kind of food will be served?
   
5. Who are the other kids attending and does your child have a good relationship with them all?
   
6. Will technology be allowed? Are the kids able to bring electronic devices?
   
7. Who will be at the home on the night of the party? In particular, who are the adults that will be sleeping in the house that evening? (Family, friends, relatives, older siblings, sibling friends).
   
8. Does your child understand what is appropriate behaviour and does she know what to do if she feels unsafe at any time?

The benefits of sleepovers

Now that I’ve got all the serious stuff out of the way, let’s talk about the positives of allowing your child to attend a sleepover. They are-

1. You’ll be sending a strong, positive message to your child. By allowing her to attend, you’re showing her that you trust her. You believe she is old enough and responsible enough to spend a whole night and morning away from you. You believe that she will make the right decisions and remember her manners.
   
2. When a child attends a sleepover, you are allowing her some independence and encouraging her to build on it.
   
3. You are preparing yourself for the future and practising slowly “letting go.”
   
4. Your child will have the chance to strengthen relationships and form stronger bonds with her friends.
   
5. She will get to know her friends in a new and different environment.
   
6. Lots of fun will be had and she will be making memories to remember for a lifetime.

Lastly, it will give you some much-needed free time and allow you to do things just for you. It’s also the perfect time to have a date night with your husband/partner!

What is your opinion on sleepovers?